Dealing with stress

Stress less by practicing more joyful gestures.

In order to get over stress you must accept what cannot be change. When you have NO control of situations or consequences, you must let it be or let it go.

Holding onto things that one cannot change will only cloud your mind more. 

So, being aware of yourself, your environment, and your destiny or purpose can really help you see that stress is a part of life. But that does mean it has to ruin or rule your life.

For years, I taught as well as learned about taking things personal. At times I would feel overwhelmed which increased my stress over time. So, I understood that letting go and moving on as soon as I possibly could was the best way to get things done.

But some and most just can not, move on. 

So, I examined a few models and I came up with my own model, its called the Let It Go Model.

First, ADMIT that you can't change what has already happen.

     Such as, " I know I can't change my past, but I can honestly make my future bright again", or " I can't change what people say, do, or think; but I can make sure that I am the best me, regardless, I will keep trying and not give up."

Second, THINK of somethings you would like to do to pass time and do it!

     Here are some examples: (I asked some of my students to come up with some positive ways to deal with stress and this is what they came up with)

      breathe                                                               

      use positive self-talk

      chew gum                                                           

      go for a walk                 

      listen to music                                                   

      be alone 

      calm down                                                         

      do one of your hobbies       

      meditate                                                             

      play a game                   

      put a puzzle together                                         

      clear your mind

      go to a safe place or space                                 

      lay down or take a nap

      spend time with someone close                         

      enjoy a fidget or stress ball 

      talk about the problem with parents or friends

(Dont limit your choices to just this lst there are more activities that you can do check out Pinterest for more ideas)

Third, LIMIT the amount of negative thoughts you may have during or after the activity you have come up with to pass your time.

     For instance, if you happen to think that you can't move on or go forward, just think of a happy place for a few seconds. If the thought comes back in three seconds, an hour, or in five hours, just think of that happy place again; by redirecting your mind.

You must train your brain to limit negativity. 

By using this simple three step model, you, your child, or someone close to you can really enjoy a stress-less lifestyle. 

Please check this website for Tips to Manage Anxiety and Stress, at the Anxiety and Depression Association of America website, https://adaa.org/tips-manage-anxiety-and-stress

I must add that there is a difference between good stress and bad stress. There is also a difference between stress and trauma. That is a whole different blog topic I will get to soon but for now let me speak on stress, bad and good.

Good stress vs. Bad stress

There are a lot of people that may say that stress is stress regardless if it is good or bad.

What are you suppose to do with that stress? How do you get over the stress? When should you deal with the stress?

There's numerous of questions to ask when it comes to this topic. This topic is very difficult, but I will cover the basics, when it comes to stress and all that comes with it.

Let me first say this, your mind, body, and soul does not label your stress differently. We are human and we love to label, name, and categorize things. We were taught that way.

To say the least, your mind doesn't know the difference in, turning in a final paper for your college course before midnight or eating fast food for all your college years. In the end, this stress can cause a person to be detached from there environment. This can cause someone to really look for toxic temporary fixes to ease their stress levels.

All in all, the good stress can be viewed as having a great outcome, like obtaining a higher education degree after you finally submitted your stressful final paper for your college course.

So, good stress is understood as, eventually turning your stress into something that can and will benefit you or having a greater outcome in the long run.

Therefore, your good stress is like going to the gym four days out the week, regardless of your mood, attitude, or being fatigue throughout the day. Putting your body through some changes or stress eventually turns out to have great health benefits like health heart, better blood circulation, loosing weight which reduces diabetes. Stress can be seen as being good.

Furthermore, bad stress can lead to more conflict, harm, and hurt to anyone that may experience some stress such as, raising two children as a single parent while working two part-time jobs while going to school. In addition to that, the parent must complete homework, pay the bills, complete housework and all the in between parenting with only at tops five hours of sleep.

This example was only a snippet of how my life was at some point of time. 

My example did not include exercise, eating healthy, having a healthy relationship with a friend, nor did it include numerous days of drinking alcohol. The bad stress from taking care of all the responsibilities inside and outside of my household was so overwhelming that my outcomes were all bad. Sleepless nights, anxiety, drinking alcohol early, not having someone there to talk to on a regular.

With all that being said, the bad stress did take a toll on me mentally and physically. I was very unhealthy and I couldn't regulate my emotions without using violence or negative ways or words to react to certain situations. The bad stress started to turn my days into long days of sorrow, regret, pain, and misery. I was lost and not found. I was broken and could not and would not want anyone to fix me. I was sad, depressed, and I blamed myself. Each and everyday the bad took over every inch of my mind, body, and spirit. I started to feel not ready for the next day or brighter day. I know that stress is definitely seen as all bad.

There are some tips you can google, I searched for a few and I seen this infographic. Check it out.

WWW.STRESSLESSTIPS.ORG

In conclusion, I have to say, that your mind, body, and spirit will only know one thing, stress is stress. Not good stress. Not bad stress. Stress is stress. Stress can hurt, it can last, and it can come and go. But managing stress the best way you know how is the right way. The only way, your way. Find your way. Don't use or abuse alcohol, drugs, or sex.

Be mindful. Be aware. Develop a growth-mindset and stay motivated.

Look within and find your stress reliever. Be happy and remember go for it. Let It Go, and keep living!!

Also, I found an article that further states if stress is identified as good or bad within the body. This article is called, Can Your Body Tell the Difference? -Good Stress & Bad Stress at the Atlas Drug & Nutrition website, http://atlasdrugandnutrition.com/good-stress-management/

Check it out as well.

Be strong, be willing to be healthy, and ready for change. Being stagnant is not the best for you. 

Thanks again.

Heather Jevan, The Motivational Seeker